I don’t regret things. Or at least I’m trying not to. I’d rather learn from my mistakes instead of look back and say “I wish such and such never happened” or “I wish I never did such and such” or “I wish I didn’t accept such and such”.
I used to resent the choices my parents made: to continue their marriage long after it was over, to move to and live in certain places in the world, to accept giving/receiving abuse, and to have so many children. But now, when I look back at their choices, I am grateful because without them, I wouldn’t have learned and decided on what I will and won’t accept in my own life as an adult.
Yes, some things just aren’t necessary and can easily be regretted, like the time I stayed in a relationship for three years when I knew it was over a year into it. Or when I had zero self esteem and confidence and let people walk all over me. Or boiling a bag of frozen chicken pieces with the bag still covering the chicken. Or the time I said something insensitive to a friend and realized it too late. But some of these mistakes I have to learn and grow from on my own.
Sometimes our mistakes are so painful, they’re easy to regret. We don’t understand the lessons behind them. But one day, they won’t hurt as much. One day we will understand.
Regret just hurts. It’s the disease of the mind. It brings us down, depresses us. It quells our desires and passions. It casts a shadow over everything we do. It makes us only a sliver of who we really are. Regret isn’t worth the damage it causes our minds and souls.
I’m working on looking back at my past choices and mistakes and saying, “I learned never to do such and such again” or “Such and such isn’t happening again” or “I won’t accept such and such anymore”. It’s worth the effort; to look at our mistakes as kernels of wisdom. If we didn’t experience them we wouldn’t have grown wiser from the lessons they taught us.