It scares me when things get like this. When my day becomes my everyday. I wake up, get ready, go to work, clock in, teach, spend my lunch break with depressed and unhappy coworkers, teach some more, go on after school duty, clock out, face traffic, go to the gym, go home, eat, watch an episode of something while I prepare for the next day’s lessons, then finally go to bed. The next morning it’s as if I just hit the reset button.
It feels like a never ending rat race to no where. The sun rises everyday whether or not it shines on us and sets every evening to render us in the darkness only to rise again. We rise everyday whether or not we are in the best of spirits and return to our homes even when the day’s work is yet to be completed. Only to awaken the next day and continue. Is this what life boils down to? Work to pay the bills, work to survive?
In an odd way, there is a sense of beauty to this cycle. A terrifying beauty.
But not beautiful enough to make me feel content. This stagnancy does not sit well with me. It makes me twitchy. It makes me antsy. It makes me want to look for more. To explore more. To discover more.
On days like this, I am not satisfied with my life. I must continue my journey forever striving for more. For better. For change.