I’m sure the internet is riddled with formulas and fixes for relationships. I’ve just entered a new relationship after two years of being single. I’m very mindful of my past mistakes. I’m also very aware of my limits and standards. I’ve realized for a relationship to have the potential to last it needs to have the following three traits-
It needs to be mutual. It needs to be healthy. It must be real.
I’m realizing in order for a relationship to truly have a chance, we must be on the same page in our expectations and our needs. We have to want similar things. We have to envision a similar future. We also must keep in mind that our needs may change over time. Therefore, we have to consistently check in and communicate these desires with one another. That way we’re able to consciously be mutual in our love.
Another thing a relationship must be is healthy. Drama can occur, but it shouldn’t be the norm. We must desire to uplift and nurture one another. We must have that intention behind our actions and our words. Always. Knowing the needs of our partner gives us the key to keeping our relationship healthy. So long as we know what our partner desires we can help motivate and encourage them on that path.
I often get so caught up with my ideal and what I want a person to be that I lose sight of who they really are. That’s why my past relationships failed. I settled for men that were not on my level- in their intellect, in their maturity, nor in their drive or motivation. Therefore, I constantly battled what was real with who I needed them to be. Needless to say, I was consistently disappointed: they never rose to meet my expectations. And I’m glad they couldn’t. Because that opened up the path to finding the man I’m intended for. He surpasses my expectations and matches me in his intellect, his maturity, and his drive. I no longer have to waste my efforts into molding this man into what I need but instead we get to truly enjoy one another for who we actually are. He is real. And I don’t need to adjust my ideals or my expectations. Obviously, in return I must be real; I must be what he needs; and I must also meet the ideals he has for his partner.
All three of these build on one another.
They’re intertwined and interwoven within the fabric of a relationship that has potential.
It’s mutual. It’s healthy. It’s real.