Home is where the heart is. But what if you haven’t had a true “permanent” home your whole life? Your heart ends up being broken into little pieces; one piece left at each place I’ve lived. I used to hate that my family moved every 3 years or so. And it wasn’t just moving from one home to another, but it was moving from one city, one state and even one country to another. Every time we started packing, I remember day dreaming about being in a family that had a forever home- where My parents lived in the same house I was born in, grew up in, graduated high school in, got engaged in, brought their grandkids to and so on.
Then I became an adult and the first thing I did was move. I didn’t just move out of my parents home to somewhere nearby, I moved to the other side of the earth- thousands of miles away from my family. And now ten years, one country and two states later, I’m yet again about to make another move. This time it’s back to the place I always considered “home”- my birthplace and the only state I lived the largest chunk of my childhood in. And for the first time in ten years, I’ll be in the same vicinity as my sisters. And I’ll be with the man I call my life partner.
It almost feels like I’ve gone full circle. I don’t hate moving anymore- quite the opposite actually. But this move is significant in so many ways. There’s a lot of uncertainty and so much is unknown, but it’s balanced out by the love and proximity of my family and loved ones. I look forward to settling down, making new friends (which gets harder as we get older), and finding new hobbies and places to make mine. But a part of me is ready for this to be my last major move. I am ready to “settle” down in one place and then keep my love for movement limited to travel instead of actually moving my whole life again.
I’m sure the internet is riddled with formulas and fixes for relationships. I’ve just entered a new relationship after two years of being single. I’m very mindful of my past mistakes. I’m also very aware of my limits and standards. I’ve realized for a relationship to have the potential to last it needs to have the following three traits-
It needs to be mutual. It needs to be healthy. It must be real.
I’m realizing in order for a relationship to truly have a chance, we must be on the same page in our expectations and our needs. We have to want similar things. We have to envision a similar future. We also must keep in mind that our needs may change over time. Therefore, we have to consistently check in and communicate these desires with one another. That way we’re able to consciously be mutual in our love.
Another thing a relationship must be is healthy. Drama can occur, but it shouldn’t be the norm. We must desire to uplift and nurture one another. We must have that intention behind our actions and our words. Always. Knowing the needs of our partner gives us the key to keeping our relationship healthy. So long as we know what our partner desires we can help motivate and encourage them on that path.
I often get so caught up with my ideal and what I want a person to be that I lose sight of who they really are. That’s why my past relationships failed. I settled for men that were not on my level- in their intellect, in their maturity, nor in their drive or motivation. Therefore, I constantly battled what was real with who I needed them to be. Needless to say, I was consistently disappointed: they never rose to meet my expectations. And I’m glad they couldn’t. Because that opened up the path to finding the man I’m intended for. He surpasses my expectations and matches me in his intellect, his maturity, and his drive. I no longer have to waste my efforts into molding this man into what I need but instead we get to truly enjoy one another for who we actually are. He is real. And I don’t need to adjust my ideals or my expectations. Obviously, in return I must be real; I must be what he needs; and I must also meet the ideals he has for his partner.
All three of these build on one another.
They’re intertwined and interwoven within the fabric of a relationship that has potential.
It’s mutual. It’s healthy. It’s real.
I know it looks like what it looks like. That I’m all motivated to go workout because it’s the new year and I have resolutions to uphold God dammit! But really, it’s more than that.
2015 is the year. The year I find balance between my work life, my personal life and my fitness life. I’ve always been able to balance two of the three out. Usually it was work and personal or work and fitness. But never the three together.
So far it’s been working. But now my blog is taking a back burner. Can I blog, work, workout & still have a little social life added into the mix? I sure think so! At least I’ll try my hardest.
First though, I need to finish That 70’s Show. It’s gone & taken over my life.