Tag Archives: friends

Balance & Blessings

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Balance & Blessings

In light of what happened recently, I have grown more focused on the blessings I have in my life. I truly believe that there must always be balance in our lives. Otherwise, we’d be thrown into turmoil that often presents itself as stress. And since my uncle and father reached out to me attempting to shame me, I feel surrounded by a lot of negativity.

My effort to balance the negativity out is to focus on the good that is happening around me.

First of all, the astounding supportive response on social media has overwhelmed me with the realization that I am surrounded by positive loving people. For that I am truly grateful.

Second, I have the best boyfriend in the world. Through everything we’ve experienced together, he continues to be understanding and supportive. I have not met and I know I will not come across a better man than he. He is so much more to me than just a boyfriend, he is my partner, my companion, my supporter and my comforter. For him I am truly blessed.

Third, I have a job that I love. This is something I didn’t even know existed last year. Working at the school I did, brought me to the verge of quitting teaching completely. The students at the school I work at today are the best anyone could ask for. I love them very much and if it were up to me, I’d be their English teacher next year and the year after. For them I am truly honored.

Fourth, I have family that are quick to respond and always have my back. Our relationship may not be the best, but I’ve grown to be very appreciative of my sisters and my mother. They have shown that no matter the path I take, and no matter what others may think of us, we are still family and will support each other through the ups and downs. For them I am truly humbled.

Finally, I am reminded each and everyday how blessed I am to be who I am, to have the healthy body that I inhabit, to be of sound mind and clear judgement. This is what affirms to me the existence of a higher being and makes me feel complete. I am grateful for what many take for granted (my health, wealth and wellbeing) and others wish they had. For that I am very thankful.

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These Friends Ain’t Loyal

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Warning: Tantrum time.

Growing up. my family moved every three to four years. During my childhood, I made no lasting friendships. It wasn’t until social media evolved (high school/ college) that I was able to keep in touch with the friends I’ve made over the years. And even then, I consider only a small handful of those people as my “close” friends (aka friends who know me beyond my Facebook statuses and Instagram pictures).

At nineteen, I moved to Michigan. This was my first major independent move as an adult. And I lived in Michigan for seven years, building (what I thought were) lasting friendships. Then, last summer, I moved to Houston.

I’d never revisited a previous home before and so I was really excited to visit Michigan this last December and see all my friends again.

My trip was for only five days and I felt that I wouldn’t have enough time to see everyone I loved.

By the third day, however, it dawned on me: I have very few Real Friends (right now I can count them on one hand if half the fingers were cut off). Those I thought were my friends really aren’t (I’ll now refer to them as my Fake Friends). And many that I viewed as my “friends” because they were (originally) friends of my Real Friends, are more friends to me than my Fake Friends. These Friends of (my Real) Friends came out and spent time with me, while not a single Fake Friend contacted me and if I contacted them, they had an excuse for not being able to see me (unless they were out of town that is).

As an adult, I’ve developed into the kind of friend who will go out of my way for a friend. I will do almost anything to preserve a relationship with those I love and will be there for them whenever they need me. That is what I consider a Loyal Friend.

Apparently, Loyal Friends are few and far between. I am deeply hurt by every person I thought of as a friend who hasn’t even reached out to me. I’ve been gone for almost five months, and am in town for five days (including the weekend) and I’ve publicly announced my arrival and sent group texts out and so far the only friends who came out to see me were (besides my half a handful of Real Friends) Friends of Friends.

The Tally: I have a handful of Real Friendships, numerous Friends-of-Real-Friends Friendships and even more Fake Friends than I can count.

The Lesson: Don’t waste your energy on Fake Friends. If they’re real they’ll be there. I’m going to focus on my well being and health and stop bending backwards for people who disappear when it’s not convenient for them. Friendship is a mutual meeting of “half-way”. I’ll continue to meet my Real Friends half-way and leave behind the others.